In a podcast with Jill Farnsworth Geigle, who is currently the Director of Parent and Child Advocacy at the National Sexual Exploitation Center, she discusses how we can help stop child exploitation. She is also the author of the book called "Prepare Your Child" which seeks to help parents create families resistant to pornography.
Because pornography can be a complex and complicated topic for many parents, whether they are in the LDS community or not, the book is to help parents protect their children from pornography.
Why is it a complex and complicated topic?
Because it is related to sex, trying to teach children about sex is very sensitive for many parents. Especially when they haven't had good examples of talking openly about healthy sexuality, so they might experience embarrassment or nervousness.
Secondly, it is important to discuss technology as this is a big part of children’s access to pornography. Technology and its constant change is the world of children and teenagers today. So when you want to limit the use and stay on top of it, it can often create tension and arguments, but this is an issue that you must deal with.
So, how can we protect the children?
Perhaps many parents think they can protect their children by “keeping them in a box”. However, you cannot keep a child in a box, because it is only a matter of time before our children will see pornography and explicit content.
Therefore, one way to protect children is to prepare them. Parents can give their children nutrients, tools, and light to help their children as they grow and encounter this material. So the mission is to provide them with tools to prepare them to be strong enough to face those situations.
Parents are going to make mistakes because there is no perfect system. With that being said, having a plan so as not to live in fear and panic when problems arise will help tremendously. However, remember that no parent can be on their children and watch their devices 24 hours a day. They also cannot be with them in school or when they are with their friends all the time. Despite that, the following principles can be applied to the plan.
1) Nurture Relationships.
Promote face-to-face relationships and teach children to communicate and interact with someone, play with them, and laugh without needing a screen. Teach them to put down the phones and look in the eyes while talking, smiling, and interacting face-to-face. This helps with emotional regulation and they will be less susceptible to pornography. Establish a model relationship based on what was said previously.
2) Relationship with technology.
Define and have conversations about the use of technology at home. Create a self-assessment. What are you using your phone for? What does it work for? Where are you finding yourself having problems? Have you had face-to-face time? By doing this you teach children ways to identify their weaknesses.
3) Communicate.
Create open communication and leave the shame. Be the main source of information and create a safe place for your children.
4) Incorporate sources of light.
Whatever religion or way you choose to center yourself, it can be a great way to guide your children. For example, in Christian faiths, teaching the doctrine of Christ, and repentance is important. Repentance is a way of seeking healing and righting the wrongs you have made. It is important to discuss how repentance is like a gift, not a backup plan. Be a model of how repentance can bring happiness. Perfection is not expected, like when children begin to walk. Parents do not get angry with them when they fall. They pick them up and help them take the next step, which is the definition of repentance.
Protecting our children in this technological age is challenging. It is impossible for us to be on our children 24 hours a day to monitor the content they watch. However, one way we can protect them is by educating them and preparing them for when they find inappropriate content online. If they are prepared, they are less likely to be deceived by false truths found on the Internet. So take a deep breath and say, okay. Do the best you can!
Visit For Parents and Educators | Citizens For Decency to find the resources that are available for parents. You got this!
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